This is a post that I am writing on demand of one of my very close friends. I didn’t really know how to express my thoughts clearly and I don’t think I’ve mastered it now either but it’s a topic I wanted to share because many people asked me to write about this topic.
As I get older, I realize that there is much more going on in a relationship that you could think of. I know that it wasn’t all roses and rainbows but as you meet more people and get to know other people’s experiences – there is always something new to learn. The majority of my readers are very young and there are so many things I wish I had known a decade ago.
Your love & dating life covers the majority part of your life (as well as your education) when you are young that’s the reason why I wanted to write this post.
I don’t consider myself to be a relationship expert at all since I’ve been single till now but there are certain things I’ve learned that thankfully didn’t make choose the wrong path and that’s what I want to share with you.
A very big disclaimer, I’m not saying you shouldn’t get into a relationship when you are young or that you should wait until a certain age in order to start dating. Every individual is different and so is their life. There is no right or wrong way to love someone.
This post is mainly about the difference between love and infatuation. So many people start a relationship out of pure pressure from their surroundings and later on, they realise they weren’t compatible with each other at all. There are many more different scenarios like this where you realise a couple of months or years down the line that it wasn’t meant to be and you could have prevented it if you had noticed it earlier.
There in’t such thing as a relationship that is a complete waste because you learn many life lessons and gain experiences by the end of it but we all know that sometimes, you could have learnt those things without necessarily being with that person. I really hope you find this post helpful if you are going through a situation where you don’t know if you should be with someone. This is going to be a very long post so bring a cup of tea or coffee! As always, if you are interested – keep on reading!
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?
Obviously the main question, why is it important? So many people start dating each other because they had a crush or were attracted towards each other – and they are still together – so why should it matter?
Well, the thing is in this case we are talking about long-term or serious relationships. I know not everyone looks for a serious relationship and that is totally ok if that’s what you want but if on the other hand, you are looking for a serious relationship then this is something that matters.
Films & TV shows or even your surroundings have this concept of matchmaking or pushing you to date someone if you are single which isn’t necessarily bad but at the same time, it’s not something great either. It instils this unhealthy thought in your mind that you should start dating the person you have a crush on or the other way around if that person is interested in you. This mostly happens when you are at school or uni. There is this constant pressure that you might miss a potential “partner”.
Actually, there isn’t much of a difference when it comes to both love and infatuation. Some would say that when you are infatuated with someone, you have this feeling of butterflies flying around in your stomach or you have this constant urge to be with them 24/7 whereas when you are in love with someone, you feel safe in their presence and it’s not really about the physical attraction but how emotionally connected you are with each other.
I truly believe it depends on each individual. Respect plays a huge part in this instance. The way you treat and care about each other speaks volume if you want to know the difference between love and infatuation. When you are infatuated with someone, you view that person in a completely different light and as soon as you start a relationship, you realise that everything was just an illusion. I’m not saying this won’t happen with love but it won’t be to the point where your feelings are changed overnight.
Ask yourself if you want to be with someone or want to be with a specific person, the answer to your question resides there. Many people start a relationship because they want to be with someone, not because they are in love which is a harsh reality. Some people end up finding ‘the one’ that way whilst others are on a quest. Always try to think with your mind before you listen to your heart.
AT WHAT POINT CAN YOU NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE?
I don’t think there is an age or even time when you will be able to find the difference between those two things if you are wondering whether you are in love with someone or are just infatuated because they are very much intertwined with each other. Some would say that if you still have romantic feelings towards someone after 6 months then it’s definitely more than infatuation and you are in love with that person.
You have to listen to both your mind and heart. If your feelings for that person stay the same despite their flaws & imperfections then you are obviously in love but if your feelings are constantly changed then you are probably only infatuated with that person. This is not something to be ashamed or embarrassed about because at some point, everyone has been infatuated with someone but don’t let your feelings control you.
CAN INFATUATION TURN INTO LOVE?
Once again, this is something that completely depends on each individual. Usually the signs of infatuation aren’t positive ones which are possessiveness, anxiety, fear and insecurity. Those are more likely signs of a toxic relationship than a loving one that’s the reason why relationships based on infatuation don’t last a long time. They happen and go fast. When your relationship isn’t based on a healthy foundation, your relationship won’t make you fulfilled and you might feel disappointed at the end.
As always, I would love to know your thoughts on this matter. Do you think infatuation can turn into love? Is it something that you should avoid? I would love to know if your relationship started as infatuation and blossomed into true love or if it was the total opposite.